Fate of the Affinity
by leprekan187
Summary: A dying wish. A single kiss. A secret romance. Hermione is sent back through time to save one man from corrupting the world as they all knew it. A secret meeting to give her information before the peak of war. Hermione Granger must save Severus Snape from himself. She has a time turner. He tells her to take on week to prepare. Sorted into Slytherin a beacon of hope from the shadows
1. Chapter 0

Prologue.

Hermione ran as quickly as she dared as she made her way to the dungeons. Severus was waiting and he had something for her. He had sent her an owl that morning to come just before curfew. It was nearing the end of the school year and Harry was leaving with professor Dumbledore in less than an hour.

Her tennis shoes made nearly no noise as she skidded to a halt at his chamber doors. She didn't bother to knock as she entered the room.

"Ah, Hermione, thank you dear." One of her more favorite headmistress portraits greeted her at the door.

"For?" Hermione asked confused as she moved more into the room taking off her cloak. It was much warmer in Severus' rooms than the rest of the dungeons but she knew better than to come down without it as when she made her way back up to Gryffindor tower.

"I have yet to talk to her Dilys. I told you this twenty minutes ago when you asked how she took it." Severus drawled as he walked into the front room. "hey." He said softly kissing the top of her head. It was as affectionate as he had ever gotten with her; frustrating her to the point of no return some days.

"hi." She said flushing deeply.

Severus let his guard drop for a moment as he smiled softly at her before leading her into another room. Hermione had only been in the front room and his bathroom before, but he gently led her to another room, although she noticed with deep disappointment it was not his bedroom.

It actually looked more like an office than anything, but it did have his artwork and personal potions lab.

"I have many things to give you tonight. Firstly, I need to give these to you. These are my personal notes from everything I have ever learnt from the dark lord. You cannot read them. Not yet. Secondly, this file is even more important. This is the entire background history of a relative on your mother's side. She is a pureblood witch that died very young. The details on why you need this information also are in here. This is something else that you can't read just yet. Next, this small bag is very old. It has undetectable charms on it. Making it essentially bottomless and weightless. It holds many small things for you to look at when the time is right. It also holds both of the keys to the Monett vaults; one each in France and the other here at Gringotts. There is also a generous amount of muggle Euros and Pound notes in here as well." He said handing the bag to her. It felt like a gentle swath of lace in her hand.

"What's going on Severus?" Hermione said softly almost afraid of the answer.

"Tonight is the start of the peak of our war. Tonight, Dumbledore will die." He said barely a whisper.

"What? How?" Hermione said frantically suddenly losing interest with the contents he had just handed to her.

"It matters not. The time to review all of this will be when I die. I know I will. I feel it. And there's nothing I can do to prevent it. This war had ruined too many people. This war had ruined me; I cannot be the man you need. Not truly. And that hurts me more than I can ever say. I am sorry, Hermione. I only wished it was enough. But you must return to your dormitory soon." He said leading her back to the front room. Dilys was gone now. Once they reached the doors to his rooms he handed her a neatly folded envelope. "This contains everything I cannot say to you; please wait until morning to read it. There is also a letter describing the details and reasons behind why I am giving these to you; read that after you have calmed. I only hope against hope that you will still follow through with this request, I'm going to apologize ahead of time for my sins." He added cryptically before placing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"Severus?" Hermione asked scared, looking between both of his eyes trying to decipher the mystery.

"I love you, Hermione Granger. Please, I beg of you to remember that. I am not a monster but I have no choice. Please go back to the tower quickly." He said intensely before opening his door. Hermione took a shaky step to him, instead of walking out.

"I love you as well, Severus. This is not good-bye." Hermione replied softly looking at him as if for the first time. She could feel her eyes burning with unshed tears. Gently she raised her hand to rest on the side of his face before reaching up to kiss his lips softly for the first time.

"Go now woman." He rasped after a moment before she stepped away and looked back at him. "quickly." He said before shutting the door.

Hermione stood there and looked at the closed door for a moment before turning and running away to the tower, blinking back tears as she went.

She was gasping for breath as she reached the portrait of the fat lady; she barely managed to get the password out for it to open to the disaster within.

"DeathEaters are in the castle Hermione. We need to go." Ginny said frantically over the commotion as she passed a small amount of what looked to be Harry's Felix Felicius.

"Let me take this up and I'll be back down." Hermione said holding up the paperwork in her hands.

"Hurry. We've got to get to Luna." Ginny said handing her the vial. "This is the last of it. One teaspoon is good for six hours. This is exactly that."

Hermione downed the potion quickly before running up the stairs and placing the information Severus gave her with her Hogwarts, A History book at the bottom of her trunk.

By the time Hermione made her way back down she could feel the potion starting to work. She felt compelled to go to the headmasters' office.

If only she would have been able to predict the catastrophe awaiting her as she rushed past Ginny and Ron as they made their way through the school.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 following through

It was months after the funeral and I still couldn't believe it. I had felt sucker punched when Harry had told everyone that Severus had killed Dumbledore. It didn't feel right. It didn't feel real. Except I couldn't shake his voice, terrified as it had been now that I kept thinking back. _"… I'm not a monster… I have no choice."_ I could hear his soft voice repeating this over and over in my head. No one would believe me though, if I had ever said anything. As it was I couldn't seem to recall what I had said in my state of shock.

It was a quiet day at the burrow, with most everyone outside playing a game of quidditch or down in the kitchen helping to plan the remainder of the wedding, that I was diligently unpacking my trunk after sending my parents off to Australia to hide. Lost in my thoughts as I had been for as much as I could remember lately I wasn't paying attention really when I picked up my favorite book; Hogwarts; A History. Only to find the information Severus had given my.

I didn't realize my thoughts had frozen as I held the letter he had written to me in my hand. With a shaky timid hand I carefully opened the envelope reveling three separate sets of paper folded.

The first one was labeled easily. A simple _I love you_ was written on the outside. The second had a simple label, _please forgive me._ The third was a sad label _for after I have passed_.

I opened the first one with shaking hands.

_My Hermione,_

_I cannot express to you how much you have begun to mean to me. Sadly my hands are tied and my fate is sealed. I knew this going into whatever camaraderie we went into earlier this year. Albus had said you would be the one to save my soul. I laughed at him, unknowingly. I did not know just how much your simple company would come to mean to me. I could not say the words to you without letting you understand. I hope that with time you will take these words and let them comfort you in the darkness we have now fallen in. please, Hermione, I beseech you, don't let them convince you that I am the monster everyone wants to believe I am. I will need your presence now more than ever, and sadly I will not have it. __My patronus has changed this year. Strangely not by much. It wasn't even enough for Albus to notice the difference but I did. I have cast it so many times in my lonely life to realize when it changed. It was a doe for the longest of time. It seemed to represent Lily and the innocence I thought she held. It is now a fawn. That it true innocence. You, my sweet, are just that. The vision of pure virtuousness. And I? I fear I am the sickness that will perverse and ruin that purity.__ My only salvation will be knowing that you love me in return. If you still feel the same, after all of this, all you have to do is simply hold this letter tightly and say my name, only once is necessary, for me to feel the effects. It will be my beacon of hope in this poignant time. I hope to feel your love, as I hope you feel mine._

_Always yours,_

_Severus_

I didn't feel the tears in my eyes or on my face until one fell to the page in my hands. I clasped the letter as tight as I would allow myself to before I whisper his name, not once, not twice, but over and over and over again until I didn't think my voice would hold anymore.

Time skip ahead

Harry found me hours later still mouthing his name the letter still held tightly in my hands.

"Hermione, Mione, we need to go. The wedding will start any moment. Ron was looking for you but I told him I would try. Mione, is everything alright?" I heard his voice, soft and steady. Just like him.

"No. everything is not alright. Let me just clean up this mess then I will be downstairs to help set up." I said sitting up trying to discreetly dry my eyes.

"It's already set up, Mione. The wedding will start in a few hours. Everyone is getting ready. I'm here if you need someone to talk to. I know you have done a lot of me over the years and I am here to pay you back in any way possible." Harry said softly to me.

I only nodded, the letter still held tightly in my hand. Would he understand? Would he even try? Maybe in time, he would tolerate my love for the man he despised.

I waved my wand and the majority of my belongings joined Harry's and Ron's in my beaded bag. I had mimicked the charms that Severus had placed on the small blue change purse and had managed to pack months upon months worth of information and supplies all summer long. I had much of my families camping gear along with the tent I borrowed from Mr. Weasley for the trip. I had a long conversation with him and had relinquished many random books and objects for him to dissect. It wasn't so hard to get the older man to help. He just wanted an easy bribery for more muggle things. As it was I had stopped at a junk shop and gathered many random things to help aide in acquiring the tent and a few odds and ends he thought might be of some help.

I placed the slightly crumpled love letter and the other remaining two letters back inside the blue change purse before going about my routine to get ready. A well needed shower along with a few well placed charms helped my distraught appearance.

I took a deep breath and donned the red dress I had acquired for the occasion, at the time I had assumed Severus would be attending and he would appreciate the effort. But as it was I had no idea where Severus was, or how he was doing. Through sheer will I would get through tonight until I could send him my love again.

Time skip ahead

I sat Indian style on the sleeping bag I had pulled out for myself. Sitting on a couch in the middle of Grimulaud place was not how I had imagined tonight. With a heavy sigh and making sure the boys were asleep I pulled out the letter from Severus. It was wrinkled from my abuse of it earlier.

"Severus." I whispered painfully in the dark. Even if I could not feel Severus' sure and steady arms around me I would send him my love as often as I could. I sat there clutching his letter for an immeasurable amount of time whispering his name again in the darkness of the room.

"_somniavi__."_ I cast after a while. I needed to read his other letter but I couldn't move because Ron was asleep under my feet and I couldn't cast _lumos_ in fear I would wake both of them. I silently as possible rooted around the blue change purse for the other letters, finding them about the time I was ready to give up and dump the contents of the bloody bag.

_My Hermione,_

_What I have done is unforgivable. I understand that. Had it been anyone else I would never have hesitated to help condemn them. But as it is… well I'm sure you understand. First however you deserve and explanation. The dark lord had planned for Draco to kill Albus. This I am sure you have Potter to help come to this conclusion. However, Dracos' mother came to me last summer and begged me to help him, in any way possible. Bella became involved, and an unbreakable vow was cast. I was to carry out the deed in the event Draco was unable. Albus became aware of this the same day he called on me for assistance, he had donned a cursed ring. It was all I could do to hold off the curse. It would only last a year, at best. He asked me also in turn, to spare Dracos soul and do him the mercy of killing him myself. He believes that if it is a mercy killing then it won't have any effect on my soul. I do not share this belief. This is the headache and atrocious secret I have kept from you this year. This is why he thought your presence would bring me peace. All the times you asked me to share my secret with you, that you might have been able to help me with it, believing it was an innocent act, I simply would think of this letter. It was all I could do. In the months and maybe even years to come I will do my best to watch over you. This letter has the same charm on it as the last. But this time all you have to do is say you trust me. To let me know I still have a chance. A chance to right my wrongs and redeem myself in your eyes._

_Always yours _

_Severus _

I could feel the tears this time. My eyes burned with them, raw from so much use today. After a spell I held both of the letters to my chest.

"I trust you, Severus." I hoped he would feel my love and my trust and know.

Time skip ahead

It had been months since our departure from the burrow and grumlaud place but I still held onto my letters every night. I wanted to open the other one but I was too tired. Too emotionally spent. When Ron left I granted myself the opportunity to show my grief. Let Harry believe Ron was the reason for my heartbreak and stress. We had gone to Godric's Hollow and that had backfired in more than one way possible. With Harry's wand gone and the brother cores not being in place any longer for an added defense it felt that on top of everything else made us that much more vulnerable.

It was Harry's turn to stand guard outside tonight but I could shake the feeling I had. I couldn't explain it, it was a mixture of all the feelings I had rushing through me yet… yet more pronounced. With a sigh I carefully put away the letters before gathering one of the knitted blankets Molly had finished just before our little trip and made my way outside.

I knew as soon as I exited the tent that something was amiss. Harry wasn't there, the fire was slowly dying and it was colder than I had yet to feel it. Terrified for Harry and almost even more for myself as he had my wand and I was now technically alone and defenseless.

"Harry?" I called out into the nights frigid air. I listened as the nightlife of the Forest of Dean moved around slower in the cold. Sure enough after a moment or two I heard a noise off to my right. It was a patronus. A fawn patronus. All of a sudden I could feel my entire body, I felt my heart beat frantically and I felt my stomach clinch. "Severus?" I asked softer, more timid then I had called out Harry's name.

"Shh. It's ok. Potter is retrieving the sword and I couldn't defy temptation when I felt you. I was too close by and he was preoccupied. I'm sorry if I am presumptuous." I heard his silky voice say from the shadows.

"no. you're not. Your presence is welcome here Severus. I made my wards welcome you. Every time I have cast them, you have been welcome to see through them." I said softly looking for his reassuring eyes in the dark. I couldn't see him. After a moment I felt as if I was delusional. That is until a few logs added themselves to the dying fire in front of me.

I turned and nearly screamed with how close he was. I looked up at him and immediately felt the effects of his closeness. The familiar scent of spicy herbs and parchment and the musky scent that I can only associate with Severus assaulted my senses. I gripped the blanket around my shoulders tighter. I longed to hold him to me, but I wasn't sure how welcome my advances would be, so instead my knuckles turned white against the chilling blanket.

"Come in the tent." I said after looking into his eyes. Everyone regarded them as cold and unwavering but I could feel the warmth behind them for me. I stepped around him before leading him into the safe haven. I could tell he was impressed once we were inside. "Mr. Weasley kindly lent us the tent for this excursion." I explained softly as I led him to my side of the tent.

He didn't say anything as he watched me closely. I patted the spot next to me on my bed. He carefully sat down, as if he should bolt at any moment but I knew I would hear Harry moving around once he was back.

"I cannot stay long. I… I think I might have messed up the spell on the letters." He said quietly. I tilted my head to the side waiting for him to explain. "I… I have felt the effects of the letters more than I should." He whispered harshly into the silence of the tent.

"How often?" I asked when he didn't explain further.

"Almost nightly, for hours on end… Sometimes in the middle of the day as well. I don't understand why I would be feeling the effects of them so. I had hoped to come to remove them." He added softly.

"No!" I said holding my bag to my chest as if he would steal it away from me. "You have only been feeling them when I invoke the magic of the letters. It… it is my only comfort. You wrote that you wanted to feel me, so I have let you feel me, as often as I can." I said desperately, hoping he wouldn't take away his words of love and redemption.

He looked shocked… completely shaken at my confession. "Almost every night? For hours upon hours?" he barely asked.

I could only nod my head. "Don't remove the spell, Severus. Please, just leave it. I want you to feel me as often as I want to feel you." I could feel the sting of my tears coming again; I couldn't look at him and let him know how weak I was to rely on something as simple as this. He didn't say anything as I tried to control my emotions again.

I felt him shift on the bed and I thought he was going to leave but I felt his hands grip my shoulders as he pulled me to him. It was an awkward position for a hug but I melted against him after the shock wore off from his display of emotions.

He held me in the embrace for only a moment before I felt his hands move to the back of my legs where he picked me up and actually cradled me to him and buried his head into my neck. I breathed in his scent trying to memorize it for later when he left. I could feel his lips moving against my skin and I could feel a slow fire building in my veins.

"Severus… please." I barely managed to keep a sob out of my voice as I begged him. He slowly looked up at me. His eyes were nearly completely black with an emotion I didn't think they would ever hold for me.

"I love you, Hermione." His voice was deeper, rougher. I didn't have any time to register anything else before his lips descended on mine.

The world stopped spinning. Birds stopped what little chirping they were doing. I could hear my blood rushing through my body. I could feel every inch of where our skin met with a warmth I had never known before. I was powerless to control my hands as one gripped his shoulder and the other gripped the back of his head to keep him where he was. To let him know it was more than satisfactory with me. I tried pouring everything I felt into the kiss, although not having much experience in the area I'm sure most if not all of it did not come across.

He only pulled back after I started to feel my lungs sting as they shrieked for air. I was breathless and panting for air but my eyes roamed his face, taking in every detail. His eyes looked rapacious as he looked at me.

"I love you, Hermione. So much. I thought I had miscast the charm, I had no idea you were sending me that much of you. I didn't dare begin to hope that was the reason." He rasped in that rougher voice that sent shivers down my spine.

"I would send you more if I could but I don't know how much Harry would approve. Especially after…" I trailed off looking down at the miserable look that overcome his features. "Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you, Severus."

"No. it's quiet alright Hermione." He said to me but it was quiet not alright for me. He held me tighter for a moment before he gently sat me back down on my bed. "It's time for me to go. They are coming back." He whispered to me before he kissed the top of my head affectionately.

"no. don't go yet. Please." I begged holding onto his arm, not letting him get far enough to apparate away.

"Hermione, love. Please. Let me go for now." His eyes flicked to the tent opening and I could hear Harry's heavy feet stomping along with someone else. "Weasley will want to apologize I am sure. My presence isn't welcome by them." He added on in a softer tone as he kissed both of my hands that were holding him to me. "I will try to come back. If it is safe use the second letter and let Phineas out for some fresh air." With that he pried my hands off of his arm and without another word he apparated away.

"Hey Hermione!" I heard Harry yell. I flopped backwards on my bed and hit my head repeatedly on the hard mattress. With a sad sigh I folded my blanket up on my bed and slid it under the covers to preserve the scent before heading out of the tent.

Time skip ahead

Each strike the snake too at Severus wrenched at me from inside. I could feel my blood draining away as she killed him. I followed Harry once he made sure the coast was clear. I could barely stand to look at him. He was slouched at the wall his shoulders barely keeping him up right.

Harry talked to him for a moment before asking for a flask. I numbly and blindly handed it to him. I felt the bile rise up from my stomach when Harry moved away. I followed them to the door before falling back.

"You guys go on a head. I'll be along in a moment." I said clearly.

"We can wait." Harry said stopping Ron.

"No, you guys go ahead. I'll disillusion myself. No one will hurt me. I just need a moment. I'll be along soon." I said with what I hoped was an encouraging smile. Harry didn't really seem to buy it but he glanced back at the boat house and back at me before he nodded in understanding.

"Take all the time you need, Mione." He said walking back to me to give me a hug which I returned quickly. "You should have just told me. I would have understood." He whispered to where only I could hear him. I nodded, giving him a watery smile. "Come on Ron. She will be with us in a bit." Harry said pulling an uncertain Ron behind him.

I quickly disillusioned myself before running back to the boat house. I summoned the anti-venom, the dittany, and a blood replenishing potion in quick recession before hovering over Severus. I closed my eyes trying to hold back the bile.

I poured nearly the whole vial of dittany over his neck before I poured the anti-venom and the blood replenishing potion down his throat. I spelled away as much of the blood as I could before I cast Enervate.

I waited wait a bated breath as he gasped himself awake. Quickly removing the disillusion charm I flung myself at him.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again Severus Snape." I cried as I held him to me. His arms came stiffly up around my waist before gripping them.

"The anti-venom won't hold. It's too weak." He said slowly as if weighing each word.

"You brewed it; I know you did." I said frantically. He couldn't leave me, not now.

"I know. Nagini's venom is different. It will work only for a few minutes before the pain is too much." He replied quietly.

"Don't leave me, Severus. Please." I cried into his robes.

"It is time for you to read my last letter then head to my chambers. The wards will still recognize you. Take whatever you need or want and leave. I knew I was going to die Hermione. I told you that so many times." He said softly looking at me with no guards up at all. "Don't worry about the outcome of this war. They will be fine. Read my last letter then leave. Turn back one week to come to your senses and on the last day break the time turner. It will take you back to June 30 1976. The summer before my 6th year." He slurred his words all of a sudden at the end. I read the panicked look over his face. "I love you Hermione. Please save me." His face went slack again. He had said he was in pain. I quickly summoned a very strong dreamless sleep, I kissed his soft, awkward lips one last time before I poured the whole bottle down his throat. It would take less than a minute.

"Severus Snape. I love you. I trust you. I will save you." I whispered in his ear before kissing the top of his head like he had always done mine.

I quickly disillusioned myself again before I made my way back up to the castle to follow through with his request. I would save him if it was the last thing I ever did.


	3. Chapter 2 smut

Chapter 2 a twist in time {a}

Adult content, under age don't read, smut ahead

I didn't stop for anything as I fled to his chambers in the dungeons. No one would be down here anyway, so I removed my disillusion charm just as I came up on his rooms. I quickly opened the door and breathed in the scent of Severus.

"My dear Hermione, I have missed you so. How is Severus?" Dilys asked from her portrait on the wall near the door.

"He is… he's…" I couldn't say the words as I crumbled to the floor. Severus was gone. Dead… I had spared him hours of pain and suffering by overdosing him with the dreamless sleep but I had killed him.

"Oh… oh you poor dear. He had said… well… oh dear me…" Dilys cried from her stationary point.

We both sat there crying for an immeasurable amount of time before I heard Voldemort's threat for Harry. That was the one thing that hardened my resolve.

"Dilys. I am going back. I am going to save him." I said clearly to the painting of the only woman in the castle who had been on his side this last year. "But I will put my own swing to it, what has he been doing the past week?" I asked the crying witch.

"Moping mostly. He's been in that chair staring at the fire. He's only smiled a few times in the last week my dear. He's been summoning the elves to bring him food. He seemed to be waiting for something." She said slowly looking at me curiously.

"Has he had any visitors? Anyone at all?" I asked before I summoned the blue change purse out of the beaded bag.

She shook her head. "His wards only allow the two of you to pass. But no one called on him." She explained.

"Good. _Accio time-turner_! See you last Sunday Dilys!" I cheered before I flipped the time turner seven times. I closed my eyes as I felt the wind around, I had come accustomed to the blurring in third year but I didn't want to test myself just now.

When everything stopped I opened my eyes to see Severus slouched over in his chair asleep with a book in his hands. I smiled softly at the sight. I silently crept my way over to Severus before gently picking up the book as it slid down his leg.

I smiled a secret smile to myself before I kissed his lips. I felt when he woke because the pliant and willing lips stopped moving for a moment before he grasped my shoulders and yanked me away in shock.

"How the bloody hell did you get here?" he demanded. I grinned before I dangled the time turner in front of his face. I watched as his emotionless face suddenly broke out into one of rage. "Are you mad woman? Anyone could find you here!"

"I double checked with Dilys after you had passed on, you've not had anyone call on you for the week. And I thought that maybe we would benefit from this time together." I said cutting him off in a hopeful voice.

His mouth hung open in the most amusing way before he pulled me flush against him, tighter than I had ever felt his arms around me.

"One week? In one week the world falls?" he asked me softly as he touched my face gently.

"One week and you tell me to leave. I don't know the outcome of the fight but, something tells me it will be a nasty one, even if we do win." I said softly looking at him like I had never seen him before. He was being gentle and yet holding me to him like I might fade away. I glanced around the room and saw a nearly empty bottle of fire whiskey. "How much have you been drinking?" I asked after a moment.

"Too much, yet not enough." He replied looking at me with his mask down. I had only seen him without his mask a few times and I was at awe with what I saw. I saw him almost ten years younger, if not more, and full of life and full of love. Something he could never be with Voldemort.

I nodded at him but didn't say anything as his face drew nearer to mine.

His lips were soft and searching, as if he could find all the answers in a single kiss. I felt the warmth of his lips slowly warm my bones all throughout my body before I felt a strange stirring of warmth somewhere deep inside me. I pulled back only when my lungs were screaming at me to take a proper breath of air into my lungs.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up." He said not taking his eyes off of me as he gently picked me up carried me to his bathroom, setting me on my feet. When he turned to leave I felt a panic I had yet to know before.

"Severus, will you stay?" I whispered softly, I was afraid he hadn't heard me until he stopped and turned those pleading eyes back to me.

"If you want me to I will." He said just as softly, maybe thinking he was hearing things.

"Please, Severus, stay." I said holding out my hand to him to take again. His larger hand enveloped mine and I felt safe. Safer than I had in a little under a year.

I watched silently, toeing off my shoes, as he turned on the shower and tested the water with his other hand before drying it on a stark white towel hanging to his side. He adverted his eyes as I pulled my shirt up over my head with a soft hiss. His eyes snapped back at the sound.

"Just tender. I fell on my shoulder recently and it still stings." I said in his silent question. He nodded before his eyes suddenly took in my skin, skin he had yet to see before. Clad in only my bra and jeans, I was afraid for an instant that he would bolt from the room and leave me here.

"I can leave if you wish." He said suddenly looking away, finding the rug on the floor interesting.

"Stay, Severus, please." I said as I started to remove my jeans. Clenching my teeth as I peeled them off. Apparently my leg had been cut sometime in the last few hours.

He must have seen it because he was at my feet pulling the jeans off the rest of the way with a vial of dittany and was slowly dropping it onto the cut, sealing it shut.

Once it was healed I was more the well aware of the warm, soft hand holding my socked foot. I met his eyes through the steam of the bathroom and was awarded with his emotional eyes, so full of love it almost hurt.

He gently sat my foot back on the floor after he plucked the dirty sock off and tossed it to the pile of my clothes before picking up the other foot and its sock joining its twin.

I watched as he stood back up and reached around behind him to grab another vial from the shelf next to the sink. From appearances it looked like a pain-relief potion. He poured a bit into the glass on the sink edge before handing it to me.

"This should help with the pain." He said watching me drink it before taking the glass back and rinsing it out.

He turned back to me and watched with hungry eyes as I reached around behind my back and undid my bra. His eyes met mine as I let it fall to the floor with my other clothes. His eyes seemed to be fighting to stay on mine as he looked at me.

"Its okay, Severus." I managed to whisper through my trepidation and insecurity at what I wanted to ask of him. "Will you join me?"

His eyes went wide as he watched me bend to remove my underwear that had seen many better days. He nodded almost imperceptibly as his deft fingers went to work on the frock coat he was wearing, my hands shakily joined his in aiding to remove his clothing. Once he was bare before me I took him in. His skin was paler than I had ever seen before with a light smattering of dark wisps of hair making him look like someone had painted him. Each one of his scars held a silvery sheen to them on his wonderful skin. His penis was an angry pinkish red bright and dark all at once in such a contrast to the rest of him. His dark mark stood out amongst the rest of him offensively, but I refused to let that change anything. I held my hand out to him as I opened the shower curtain. We stood under the spray as he held me close to him. I could feel him warm and thick resting just below my naval. I could feel it twitch when his hands started roaming my back.

After a while of simply enjoying a real shower and the feel of his hands on me he pulled away and grabbed a bottle from the side shelf in the shower.

I felt his skillful hands massaging whatever it was into my hair and deep enough to get to my scalp. His hands felt even more heavenly as he worked it in.

I let my hands drop to his waist as I closed my eyes to the exquisite feeling of someone else washing my hair. I hadn't even realized my hands were moving of their own accord until I felt him stiffen under my hands. I opened my eyes to look down and saw that I was in fact merely a breath away from touching his erection. I glanced up at him through my wet eyelashes and saw him watching me intently.

"May I?" I asked just loud enough to be heard over the water. He swallowed thickly before he nodded his head. I let my hand close the distance between us and my hand closed over his length gently. His hands gently rinsed out my hair clumsily as I touched him. It was heavier than I thought it would be; obstinate steel beneath silky-smooth velvet skin. It was amazing how much power it seemed to emit when held in my hand. I gripped his length and pulled up on it slowly extracting a hiss from Severus. Letting go quickly I thought I hurt him but he gave a whimper before moving my hand back.

Taking that as permission I did the same movement again and was rewarded with another hiss, this one sounding more like a moan.

I moved to my knees to get a better angle and a better view. I barely glanced up at his face before I leaned in to examine his thickness. It was long but didn't look like it was a dangerous length, thicker than I would have assumed but it was softer than anything I had touched before. Tenderly I ran my fingers over the taunt skin, I felt enraptured as I enjoyed the feel of the veins on the hard muscle.

I felt him tense when I decided I wanted to taste the liquid that was pearling at the tip. It was a musky taste, not sweet, not gross but could quickly become my favorite flavor. He tensed even further when I let my tongue lap at the top before kissing the sides. I glanced up at him before taking as much as I could into my mouth. I did my best to keep my teeth away as he fought the need to lean into me. He looked down at me with his expressive eyes, for once I think I saw no wall between us, and I planned on doing everything I could to keep it down.

I twirled my fingers into the coarse hair at the base of his shaft; literally rocking back and forth on my knees in front of him. Slightly propelling myself on to him as I hummed softly at the enjoyment of having him in my mouth finally.

I quickly put all the gossip I had overheard through the years from Lavender and Pavarti and various girls around to school to use. I remembered at the last moment to take as much as I could and suck deeply when he tried to pull away as to swallow his essence that was quickly becoming addictive. I wasn't prepared for the burst of flavor in my mouth I quickly calmed myself so that I could swallow all of it.

He was leaning against the wall of the shower while I gently kept sucking on the softening shaft, still enjoying being able to pull just a little bit more of him out. I let him go with a soft pop when he touched my cheek. My mouth felt strangely empty now that I wasn't sucking on him. I kissed his flaccid length before I gently stood up in the still warm water. I quickly licked my lips and found they tasted like him. His eyes darkened even further as he watched my tongue.

"Not that I am complaining, but where in the bloody hell did that come from?" he asked trying to reclaim his composure, his face was a much pinker flush then I remember it being a few minutes ago, in fact his face and chest both looked much more natural colored then normal.

"I wanted to taste… and then I wanted more." I said with a soft smile at him. I turned around to rinse my hair and I felt him tuck my body into his. I closed my eyes at the feeling of his hard, warm body against my chilled back; even managed a soft sigh and a smile when he gently kissed my neck.

"Can I have a taste?" he rasped softly into my ear as he continued to kiss my neck. I felt the blush as it heated my face, I barely remember nodding before the water was off, we were wrapped in fresh towels, and he was carrying me to his bed room.

I didn't get a good look at anything as he sat me down gently in the center of his sheets. They felt like well loved cotton as he dried most of my body with my towel before gently lifting my head to sit the towel under it.

The candles shocked me as he kissed my ankle. He must have lit them soundlessly. The feel of his lips on my skin chased the chill of drying water away. I was lost in the feeling of his hands gently holding me that the feel of him touching me where I craved him nearly had me clean off of the bed. I felt his skilled fingers deftly and gently touching me in ways I had only done in a desperate need to relax or after a particularly difficult potions class. Wherever his clever fingers danced it felt as if acid had leaked into her veins, burning her gently from the inside. He tickled his fingers to the inside of my thighs, just off to the side of where I needed him most, I felt him swirl his finger tips in the lightly leaked dew that proved just how much I enjoyed the taste of him in the shower. His fingers danced over the tops of my thighs before coming closer to my damp curls. I nearly flew off the bed again as his fingers touched the sensitive skin there.

I heard his voice come soothingly from where his head rested against my calf that he had perched on his shoulder. He gently massaged the skin under his fingers to try and relax me but this, this was something special and I highly doubted I would be able to really relax. But his ministrations managed to make me unaware of what he was really doing and soon I felt one of those skilled clever fingers easing my sex open. I heard soft moaning coming from my chest but I was sure I couldn't be making those erotic sounds.

The soft moan suddenly got louder as that slender finger worked its way inside of me, turning me to mush and making me rigid at the same time. I was a bumbling mess by the time he started kissing his way into m body. The feel of his deft tongue was almost too much for me as he gently tasted my bundle of nerves that I was sure was trying to strain towards him as he pulled away.

"Gorgeous." His silky voice called from between my legs, his breath ghosting over my wet skin making me shiver in delight. He added a second finger to the first, gently curling them, my toes following the movement as his mouth went back to my nub. And that was all it took to let my body's tightness release in waves of pleasure.

It could have been seconds; it could have been hours later when I was coming down from trembling as he eased his fingers out of me, leaving me feeling empty. I watched with hooded eyes as he licked his fingers clean. I felt another wave of my orgasm flash over me at the sight. I closed my eyes and felt the bed plump up as he stood, I didn't bother opening my eyes as I felt my heart rate start to return to normal. After a minute maybe I felt the bed dip again before his gentle hands were coaxing me to sit up, with a soft protest I squinted my eyes open.

He was holding a soft grey t shirt in front of me; I blinked a few times, disoriented, before I lifted my arms to put it on. The fabric was soft and cool against my overheated skin. With a satisfied sigh I laid back down, letting him rearrange my dead limbs into some semblance of order before I felt him lay down behind me, pulling me close to him.

"Rest, sweet Hermione. You are safe here." He whispered into my hair. I groaned as I thought if the horrible prospect of my hair, it had been washed and not brushed. It would be a knotted disaster in an hour at most. "What's wrong love?"

"Hair." I whimpered not liking the thought of having to get up and tame the beast I always tried not to anger. I felt his chest move as he chuckled behind me.

"I'll fix it." He whispered, amusement clearly ringing through his voice.

"Fine." I groused softly before sighing and wiggling closer to him. I felt his strong arms hold me tight as he let me rest. Powerless to the yawn that came over me I closed my eyes as I felt his lips kiss my neck softly. Right here, in his arms, this is where I was meant to be. 


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 04 not so alone in France

The days passed in a slow lazy kind of way. Only going over the details of what information he had gathered for me to use briefly. Severus only had to leave a few times and even the he wasn't gone for a long period of time. Sweet kisses and tender touches were all we did while basking in each other presence.

"I want to save myself for you. I want it to be you that I lose my virginity to. In a few months or in a year from now, I just want it to be you. And I know you will appreciate it. From what I know of you is that you are very possessive and I don't see you wanting someone's leftovers even if technically it's your own leftovers. Your teenage self wouldn't see it that way. And I want him to love me at least as much as you do now." I explained our last night together while we were in a heated embrace.

Severus nodded somberly, his eyes guarded when I told him this.

"I understand. You would prefer to have my younger self please you. Completely understandable." Came the soft automatic response.

"If I didn't think it would offend your younger self I would have already been claimed as yours. I love you Severus. No matter what age you are. I fell in love with you here, at this age, appearance and personality. You sexually arouse me at this age, appearance and personality. My wish to wait for your younger self has nothing to do with not wanting to be with you now. Completely opposite in fact." The look on his face was flushed.

He nodded slowly before taking my lips again, this time only softer, and much more tender with deeper meaning behind them. I fell asleep safe in his arms that night with his lips still gently pressed against mine, not moving but simply resting there. I knew I would be leaving him tomorrow but for now I wanted to cherish his strength and love as he held me close for the last time for the foreseeable future.

Sure enough the next day dawned too early for me. Severus was already dressed in his teaching robes and was pulling on his dragon hide boots.

"I will accompany you to the Monett cottage where young Rosalie resides. I have sent a missive to Minivera to let her know I will be out for the morning." He said once he glanced up and saw me watching him.

It was minutes later that we were whirling away to the long forgotten cottage.

"No one has been here in years. This is the summer cottage Rosaline stayed at whilst carrying you. It is unplottable and warded against anyone who isn't bloody family or married in, the only way you can bring my younger self or anyone here is through floo." He said softly watching me take in the worn wooden cabinets and dusty counters, cobwebs danced in the wind of the broken window on the door leading outside.

"I don't want to leave you." I said as if he hadn't said a word, looking back at him. The soft smile he gave me was an unfamiliar sight.

"I know Hermione. It will take everything I have to not join you in the past, but there is still plenty I have to do here. The memories I plan to give to potter are also in that little blue bag I gave you. Watch them before you go to Hogwarts. They explain a bit more of my motives early on. My journal from sixth and seventh years are also in there. I asked that you leave there here and not take them to Hogwarts or if you do to not leave them lying around. The last time someone got a hold of those… let's just say they were not in class for almost a month." He said with a small sneer.

I nodded pulling him close. "Make sure you take the antivenom and tell me to save you." I whispered kissing him softly, my eyes burning with unshed tears.

"You need to go my sweet witch. You can be honest with Rosalie. She cannot be saved; if you try, you will not survive the birth." Severus said to me softly before crushing me to him tightly for a moment, dropping a tender kiss to my forehead and stepping away far enough for me to break the time turner.

"I love you Severus Snape. I will endeavor to make your life better as soon I arrive. And I know better to show James or Sirius any sort of friendship before ours is established into becoming something more." I managed to tell him with a much stronger voice than I thought I could have at the moment with the painful lump in my throat. I smashed the time turner on the counter after I wrapped the chain around my wrist tightly just in case.

I couldn't hold back the sob that ripped through me as I watched him fall to his knees before me just as the wind picked up and I had to close my eyes.

My eyes were squeezed shut to stop the nauseating visual in front of me. I was farther from Severus than I had ever been in that moment. My eyes watered with the need to sneeze as dust flew around my face in the hurricane of memories past that whirled around me.

All at once I felt the sensations slow to a stop and I was powerless to the horrible sneeze attack I had to endure.

Once I could breathe properly again I opened my eyes to see the Monett summer cottage Severus and I had been standing in before. Now everything looked new and freshly painted. All the countertops were clean and there didn't look to be a dust bunny in sight. Only thing missing was Severus himself.

I heard a noise behind me and was startled to see a woman, who could have been my mother's twin sister, but without the hair, standing in the door way holding a basket with freshly picked herbs on her arm, her head looking down.

"Mum?" I asked softly as to not startle her. It didn't work.

With a scream that made my ears ring I watched as the woman drop the basket before running behind the kitchen counter next to her to put something between us.

"Who are you?" she managed in a strong French accent once she calmed a bit, brandishing a mixing spoon at me.

"Hermione Granger." I answered honestly, slightly amused at the spoon.

"Why in 'ze world would my sisters husbands family be visiting me?" she asked properly now, as she feigned nonchalance, sitting the spoon back into the metal vase that held more cooking utensils.

"I am Jean and Robert's daughter." I answered, again honestly.

"'Zat is not possible." She whispered her eyes wide, one hand going to her not so flat midsection. "Jean can't 've children." She said almost to herself.

"Well I grew up in her house as her daughter for the past 17 or so years." Her eyes grew wide as her other hand went to join the one at her midsection.

"I… I am afraid 'zat what my healer said is true 'zen… she told me I wouldn't survive giving birth." She explained softly coming around the counter to me now.

"What is your name?" I asked once I saw her obviously pregnant belly.

"Rosalie Isabella Monett. My sister's Helen Jean Monett." She said in a sad voice. "It would make sense for father to send you to Jeannie; he's not been well since Tom's lovely gift of dragon pox."

"Does that mean you have magic?" I asked softly, my hope soaring.

"Yes, 'ze pregnancy is draining it 'zough." She said looking at me strangely. "Do _you_ 'ave magic?"

"Yes. I attended Hogwarts, got O's on almost all of my O.W.L.s, I haven't taken my N.E.W.T.s yet though." I replied as she motioned for me to sit at the island chairs. She pulled out a small glass bottle filled with orange liquid from the cold box, pouring a glass for herself and one for me. She looked proud as she handed me the glass. I took a small sip and was rewarded with one of my favorite French drinks.

"Hermione, what did 'zey change your middle name to?" she asked after a quiet minute not looking up from the Orangina.

"Jean." I answered watching her. "What is it supposed to be?"

"Hermione Bellerose Monett. Your father was killed by Tom a few weeks ago. I 'adn't even told him I was pregnant yet." Rosalie replied softly still, swirling her drink before taking a sip of it again. "How did you get 'ere?" she asked looking up at me.

"Broken time turner. Apparently if you break it, it takes you back to the year it was made." I answered her. "Does this mean you are my mother?" I asked quietly.

"I 'zink it does. It makes sense. As long as you make sure 'zis little girl ends up with Jeannie, everything will be 'ze same for you… well as much as it can be with you 'ere." She added with a cynical smile.

"I never knew… Severus just told me you were my mother's sister. I didn't know you were my mum. No one did."

"Makes even more sense. We're 'ze last of 'ze Monett family. My grandparents passed when Jeannie and I were little and mum left a few years later with Jeannie. It's just been father and me since." Rosalie said looking at me sadly.

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. She couldn't live around magic and not use it. Once I started showing signs of magic and Jeannie didn't she left."

I could remember my grandmother really well. She had been a spiteful bitter woman. She died a week after I got my Hogwarts letter.

"She's dead. Died after I received my Hogwarts letter." That made Rosalie snort in laughter.

"I can only do so much but I would really like it if you would stay. Fathers getting worse and I don't really want to 'ire help; I don't trust too many people with Tom running around like a lark. Since you are technically my daughter you will 'ave access to our vaults and properties."

"I'll stay. I don't have much to do until September first. But I will stay until my birthday if you would like… send a letter to Dumbledore for a transfer for Beauxbatons or homeschooling. I have everything I need for school except maybe time era clothes but other than that I am fine."

"Good. I take it you 'ave everything you need with you 'zen?" she asked with a smile at my beaded bag. I nodded with a grin of my own. "Okay, come on 'zen I will show you around."

The cottage had a very pleasant setting. She reviled that it was located in a small French magical community near Cannes. We talked about family and experiences. Her library was amazing with a large picture window looking out at the ocean. My room was across the hall from hers with my own bathroom. I sat my beaded bag down on the soft knitted blue and green bedspread.

"Do you knit?" I asked looking back at Rosalie. She nodded with smile.

"One of 'ze few things I learnt how to do without magic. I've needed to keep my hands busy when I'm not cooking, or gathering herbs. My herbs!" she said suddenly before she made her way quickly back to the kitchen where she had dropped her basket.

I followed her, wand in hand, back to the kitchen. She was standing at the island separating out the herbs.

"Do you use them fresh or do you dry them?" I asked helping her sort them.

"A bit of both but I sit some of each to the side for 'ze house elves to use for winter. My house elf passed away last year and I never saw 'ze need to get another. Father keeps sending one, once a week to clean up and check in on me but 'ze little thing stays for a day or two, until I send him back to father." She said with a small smile.

"You seem happy." I said watching her.

"I can't help it. If I don't smile and laugh I'm going to end up crying with a box of ice cream on 'ze couch with my knitting ripping it apart to start all over. I hate starting over."

I nodded. "I understand completely. I just let the man I love die in front of me and went back with the time turner for a week to see him again, only to intentionally break a time turner to stop a war before it ever happens. I understand holding it together."

"Well if I only get to see my daughter for four months I guess we should make 'ze most of it, huh?" she asked softly as she placed the herbs in their containers on the window sill.

I smiled sadly as her before hugging her to me.

"I will do everything I can to help you, how restricted are you? Is it just your magic or is it physically as well?" I asked when I pulled back from her.

"Magic mostly. But my healer says near 'ze end of my pregnancy it will be both, and 'zat I need to take it easy." She explained.

"Then I suggest a vacation. We can hang out and get to know each other. Go where ever you want. You can show me your knitting and I'll show you mine…" I trailed off looking at her eyes. They were filled with tears. "We don't have to."

"No, no it's not 'zat. I would love to Hermione. I would love to be your friend. It's just been so long since I 'ad a friend 'zat was 'uman or a girl. Mostly I get along with guys and magical creatures. French girls are 'orrid, and with my affinity I can communicate with all magical beings." She explained.

"Wait. What's affinity?" I asked confused.

"Do you not have it?" she looked even more confused.

"I don't know."

"'ave you ever been able to communicate with magical creatures better 'zan most? Calm a werewolf or talk to a mere? 'Ouse elves love you? 'Ear 'ze song of nymphs or even talk to a giant without realizing it? Or maybe you're limited to snakes? Can you speak parseltounge?"

"Never tried parseltounge honestly. Never been around nymphs but my old professor was a werewolf and when I was fourteen I could understand the mermaids in the lake next to the school, and my friend Hagrid's half-brother is a giant. And don't get me started on house elves."

"You have it 'zen. It just hasn't fully developed yet. When it's fully developed you can communicate with any magic creature. All direct Monett's have it."

I nodded but it still seemed a bit far-fetched; although it could help with Remus later at Hogwarts.

"Is there any books on it?" I asked sitting back in my chair.

"'Zere's plenty in 'ze library. I was curious when I was younger and bought everything I could find on it. You can look at them after dinner if you would like. Do you want me to cook or would you like to go out?" she asked washing her hands in the sink.

"Whatever you feel up for."

"I know 'zis great little place 'zat has an amazing duck dish." She said beaming at me.

"Sounds great." I said with a smile. I was glad she wanted to get out of the house.

"Go shower and I'll lend you one of my dresses and I'll show you where we're going." She said heading back to her bedroom to change.

The first few weeks in France flew by as we debated where to go for our vacation. For a strange while I liked acting like one of the girls. Rosalie explained affinity better and I read almost every night on it. I got to meet my grandfather who spoke very little English and too much French. Rosalie took us on a girl's day shopping spree and she spent way too much on me. I helped her in her garden and managed to help with her maternity potions to help keep her physical strength up and maintain her magic levels at a steady pace that let her do simple spells without making her spend a day in bed.

It was while she was in the shower one day that the Potions Monthly came by owl that I saw it. Wolfsbane potion was being published but was still considered a dangerous potion due to the toxicity of the Wolfsbane flower petals that had to be crushed into the potion. It was considered to be a very advanced potion that many potioneers didn't want to try.

"What do you 'zink of a cruise?" Rosalie said toweling her hair as she walked into the kitchen. "Ooh, Potions Monthly. I love that. 'Zere's always so many new potions to look at."

"A cruise sounds good but with your level of morning sickness not going away I think motion sickness would only make you feel worse." I said with a smile looking up at her.

"You suck." She said with a joking lit to her voice.

"I know. What about a simple sea-side vacation?" I asked looking up again from the magazine.

"We live at a sea-side vacation." She quipped back.

"Well then how about we go to a hotel and let them pamper you until you cant stand it?"

"Don't tempt me. I would be 'zere 'ze rest of 'ze pregnancy." She admonished me as she went about to make her a glass of tea.

"I am tempting you. You deserve to be pampered. No one expects you to be out and about and even if we run across someone less the savory I will be there."

"Alright, fine you 'ave talked me into it. Not 'zat I needed much convincing." She smirked over her shoulder as she finished up making her tea.

"Now that we have what we are doing, where are we going?" I asked laughing at the frustrated look on her face.

"'Zere is a new 'otel in Cannes 'zat is supposed to be above all others." She said thoughtfully sipping her hot tea.

"Good we can go there. I will apparate there and reserve a room for us tonight." I said closing the Potions Monthly.

"Ok I will start packing after lunch. We can 'ave father send Tink or Nina over to keep the 'ouse. I know it will make 'eme happy to 'ave something to do." She said with a bright smile as she went to her room, taking her hair towel with her.

Once I got the name of the hotel I apparated over there to put in our reservations. The clerk was a little nosey French bitty who was being overly suggestive when I told her I needed a room for two. She really laid it on thick when she asked if I needed one bed or two. Her manager was more than helpful after a spat. I booked the hotel for two full weeks and informed the manager that my pregnant friend was the one who would decide if we stayed longer. He was more than accommodating than Madame Snooping.

I went on up to the elevator and checked out the room before I apparated back to the house where Rosalie was making lunch.

"We're good to go. The little swot at the front desk asked if I was a lesbian." I said taking a bite of the sandwich she had sitting at my place.

Rosalie gave an amused snort as she swallowed her bite.

"I told you French girls were 'orrid."

"Yes well I would think it would be a bit uncouth to assume someone's sexuality in public…" I sighed heavily finishing half of my sandwich.

Once I made sure Rosalie had a nausea potion in her I shrunk all the bags I apparated us to directly into the room. She took a deep breath as she calmed her stomach.

"Welcome to paradise." I said waving to the window. We were on the tenth floor so we had a lovely front view of the ocean with large doors that opened all the way to a large balcony that over looked the beach and soft blue water.

"'Zank you for bringing me 'ere Hermione." She said smiling widely at me. Suddenly I knew exactly where I got almost everything from.


End file.
